An Eye

An Eye-Opening Revelation!

Prior to coming to Al-Anon, I lived my life trying to control almost everything around me—well, okay, everything. A few weeks after I began attending Al-Anon, the meeting topic was acceptance. At first I had difficulty with the topic because I knew I had controlled and could control everything in my life.

The idea that something or someone could be okay without my help was foreign to me. With the passing of time, I heard at meetings that acceptance is not approval. What an eye-opening revelation! Almost immediately I knew it was okay to stop making judgments about the people, places, and things I was trying to control. Because acceptance didn't mean approval, it was okay to allow people, places, and things to just be.

Acceptance became a freeing concept. Instead of being judgmental and spreading negativity, it freed me to use my energy in more positive ways. Most importantly, I became tolerant and loving in situations where before I was intolerant, hateful, controlling, or fearful.

As I was driving on a rural road a few days ago, a stone fell from a concrete truck and cracked my windshield. Surprised and startled, I immediately accepted that the stone cracked the windshield and I would need to repair it. Before coming to believe that acceptance is not approval, I would have been upset about the cracked windshield for several days. I’m so grateful for the concept of acceptance. It has become a guiding idea for my life. Thank you, Al-Anon, for providing the way to learn so many effective tools for living.

By Mark G., Kentucky
The Forum, February 2006