Drawing Conclusions

Drawing Conclusions

One day I heard several dogs barking in a nearby apartment building. After an hour, I talked with the apartment manager. He was surprised because that particular building didn't allow pets. The manager stormed off to chastise the resident. The barking subsided and I went about my day.

When I returned home later that afternoon, I found a small tree completely uprooted in my front yard. The tree was an unusual one that I'd nursed from a small cutting. I was shattered, certain the dog owner destroyed my beautiful tree as payback for complaining about the barking.

I imagined that act of violence to my property would lead to a threat on my well-being—possibly on my life. I panicked. I called Al-Anon members and attended my home group that night, sharing my anger, fear, and sadness. After the meeting, I visited several neighbors on our block, warning them of the current and probable vandalism.

The next morning, by sheer coincidence, a friend in the landscaping business came by my house to do some work. He looked at the fallen tree. "I see your tree finally fell over," he said. "What do you mean?" I asked. He answered, "Well, that particular tree is a desert tree that holds water. It’s a miracle it didn't fall years ago due to the way you always trimmed it to be top heavy. I've seen many trees like that just fall over of their own accord, roots and all."

My face flushed with embarrassment as I related my exaggerated assessment of what had happened. My friend pointed out that if a vandal pushed over the tree, it would have broken apart. However, as is typical for that type of water retaining plant, it just fell over from its own weight, completely intact without evidence of a third party pushing it.

Embarrassed, but glad to set the record straight, I called my Sponsor. I decided to make amends to my neighbors for instilling fear with my incorrect assessment of vandalism invading our neighborhood.

In the future I'll gather facts before drawing conclusions. I won't share what I think may or may not have happened in any given situation, especially when I don't have proof. Instead, I'll press the "pause" button and use the tools of the program.

By Anonymous
The Forum, November 2005